I’ve spent quite a bit of time contemplating things over the last week. I’m well past the halfway mark of my teaching contract here in Tainan and I need to figure out exactly what direction I am going to be headed in afterwards.
Today marks one year since I arrived in Taiwan. In the last year, I have been fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to travel six different countries in Asia and teach English here in Taiwan. Both these experiences have been beneficial and have allowed me to realise that I am willing to do whatever it takes to live the most personally fulfilling life I can.
But I need direction. I need a sense of purpose. I need to start building a framework around the career I want and the type of lifestyle I want to lead.
Here’s the thing. I know myself well enough to realise that I need to work on my own terms. In the long run, I know that I won’t be happy working as an employee. It’s just not something I have ever considered as a long-term goal. Deep down I do think that I have always had the spirit of an entrepreneur. Granted, I have never really followed through with a successful venture but I’ve made attempts and have always have the drive to do my own thing.
With this said, I can’t deny my passion for storytelling and I have always had the urge to write. But, again, I question myself like:
“If you really wanted to write stories, then why haven’t you done it? Why don’t you have anything to show?”
And I think the honest answer to this is that I don’t do it because I don’t think I’m good enough at writing. This is an art I genuinely respect. It means something to me. So, my thought process is that I would prefer to create nothing than create something that I don’t believe lives up to my own standards. In this way, I’m kind of a perfectionist.
I realise, however, that this mind-set is flawed for three reasons.
The first is that I have never really followed through with a writing project in enough depth to really find out if it’s any good or not.
Secondly, because ‘good’ is subjective anyway.
And finally, because of a little thing called improvement, the thing that will naturally happen if I wrote consistently.
As I’ve been thinking about this. I have come to realise that this whole argument with myself is ridiculous and a complete waste of time. I really have no choice. I know what I have to do. I just need to DO IT.
Here’s the plan.
Last weekend I started a new writing project. A novel. This time I am going to finish it. Not only am I going to finish but I am also going be documenting the whole process of writing on my website.
I want to start creating way more videos and blogs about the things I am passionate about (storytelling and travel) and how I am implementing these things into my life. My aim is to not only start producing finished products by making myself accountable but to also document in a way that others can learn with me and from my mistakes.
I will say it again.
I have no choice.
I need to do what’s important to me.
I need to build awareness.
I need to finish what I start.
I need to start getting serious.