The human psyche is a complex web of parts. Observe how your mind operates, and you’ll notice that it tends to cling to certain beliefs, images, or narratives. It then establishes these as parts of itself.

Each part takes on a unique role which influences your personality and the way you interact with the world. For example, a part of you that has formed to be resistant to change may manifest as a “creature of habit” personality trait. If this part is active and powerful enough, it could have unwanted consequences such as limiting your creativity, open-mindedness, and life possibilities. Of course, it could also have a positive influence in other areas. The point is that these parts make up who you are, or at least who you believe yourself to be, and if you identify with a part that’s too unwieldy, it can cause issues in daily life.

My goal with this piece is to introduce the concept of parts so that we can better understand our parts and improve our ability to work with them for the practical purpose of personal development and healing.

I’m going to be pulling heavily from IFS therapy and the work of Richard C. Schwartz. As far as I’m aware this is one of the most respected models when it comes to working with parts. I’ll also be referring to Carl Jung’s depth psychology which similarly investigates specific elements — or parts—of the psyche. This is a brief introduction to this line of thinking and so I’d recommend doing your own research, especially from the sources listed above.

Working with parts, especially those burdened by trauma, can be complex. While this essay offers a starting point, some situations may require the help of a trained professional.

Internal Forces

Think back to a time when you felt out of control. By this I mean a moment when you were no longer the boss of your own mind and some other force seemed to dictate your actions and reactions.

If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll notice that this happens to you all the time. Most of us are victims of our own psychology far more often than we’d like to admit or even realise. Any type of strong emotional reaction falls under this category. The emotion takes over. You’re not choosing to be angry — you become the anger. You’re not choosing to be scared — the fear chews you up and spits you out. You hate falling into depression— but it forces you into submission.

These are some relatable examples of what it feels like when a part takes over. It’s usually not the emotion itself that makes up the part, but a specific belief or impression that triggers the emotion as a defence mechanism. Let’s say there’s a part of you that has been burdened with the idea that it’s unworthy, for whatever reason. This part has naturally been pushed down and hidden (what would be called an Exile in IFS Therapy). Every time a situation arises that threatens this hidden part — an extreme response or emotional reaction will arise in an attempt to protect it.

There are many of these parts that exist within us — all playing specific roles. The good news is by doing inner work and exploring the parts that make up our psyche we’re able to begin to understand how they operate. From here we can work with them for the benefit of our own growth. To do this, however, we first need to be able to take a step back and view our parts for what they are. We need to view them from a detached, all-seeing perspective. In other words, we need to get in touch with the Self.

The Self

To work with parts, it’s important to understand what the Self is and how you can access it. If you haven’t already, I’d recommend reading my previous essay: Reconnecting with the Self.

The Self could be viewed as a true identity, above and beyond your parts. Therefore, by getting in touch with the Self, you’re more able to investigate parts and provide them with the support needed without being emotionally triggered by them. Being aware that only a small part of yourself is causing issues is much easier to deal with than believing dysfunctional parts are the entirety of who you are.

The better you can align with the Self, the more trust you’re able to build with your parts and therefore the better positioned you are to make real change in your internal system.

The Self as King

“Blessing is a psychological, or spiritual, event. The good king always mirrored and affirmed others who deserved it. He did this by seeing them and by noticing them, in their true worth.” — King, Warrior, Magician, Lover

Jungian psychology introduces us to the archetype of the king. This archetype represents the central organizing principle of a healthy psyche. It is the leader of our internal world, and just like the kings of history, our archetypal king is responsible for keeping its kingdom balanced and in order.

Different parts of the kingdom have their own needs and problems. It’s up to the king to see to all these parts, hear them out, and then make a just ruling to keep things running smoothly. Most importantly, the king needs to be trusted and respected by those in the kingdom. If the king loses the trust of his people or fails to attain it in the first place, parts would rebel, break away, and end up destroying the kingdom from the inside out.

Sound familiar?

Our internal system works in the same way. Our parts need to put their trust in the Self. When they do this the relationship between them strengthens and the Self is better able to do the job of accessing parts and bringing them in line with the rest of the system by offering compassion and leadership.

Blending

As I mentioned earlier, we struggle to view a disfunctional part objectively once triggered. It tends to hijack the entire system — mind and body — and blocks all access to the Self. We no longer identify with our higher nature, but with a limited part. Meaning we’re at the mercy of its extreme beliefs and reactions.

In IFS this is known as Blending.

The sun, the source of life and well-being, is hidden behind the clouds of illusion. If the pull of our dysfunctional parts is strong, we may even forget the Self exists. Most people find themselves weaving between being identified with parts and the Self. But those who are highly identified with a specific part can spend their lives caught in its web, not even realising they have a choice in how to frame their experiences.

Like you, I’ve spent much of my life blended and it’s only in the past few years that I’ve been able to take more of an active approach in assessing what parts take over under certain conditions.

In my experience, accessing the Self isn’t too difficult when you’re in a good place in life and everything is going well. The challenge is doing so when dysfunctional parts become triggered — such as by survival concerns, fears, or the reemergence of past trauma.

One way to approach this is to train yourself to spot how specific parts take over under certain conditions and work on your ability to see this happening in real-time and reduce the impact by bringing yourself back into alignment with the Self.

This is harder said than done when shit hits the fan. And so, we can spend time working with our parts outside of these situations in an attempt to understand them better, reduce their reactivity, and improve their relationship with the Self.

Working with Parts

Working with parts can be nuanced, therefore diving into the details of doing so is a little beyond the scope of this introductory essay. Part-based therapies such as IFS can provide you with a full framework for addressing your parts.

What I’ll do here, however, is offer you the basic steps I’m taking to discover and work with my parts:

1. Buy a new notebook that is solely dedicated to investigating your psyche and the parts that reside there.

2. Align with the Self so you’re better able to approach this discovery process with openness and non-reactivity.

3. Make a mindmap of all the different personalities that make up your larger personality. Focus specifically on those areas that are causing issues in your life or that trigger a strong emotional reaction.

4. Give each part that comes up a name and then begin engaging with them individually. You can have an internal conversation with one side being the Self and the other a part. Ask questions to get to know the part, its role, and its motivation for acting in the way it does. Spend many hours with this step until you feel you have a good grasp of all the major parts that make up your personality.

5. Look for relationships between the parts. For example, maybe a certain part is making you act in an undesirable way to protect or hide another more vulnerable part. You can also delve into your past, particularly childhood, and assess how a part formed, or in the case of a problem part — what experiences led to its emergence.

6. The final step is to allow the Self to take over from (heal) the part. Freeing the part from its burdens and allowing it to finally breathe and potentially take on another more suitable role in your system. This process can take time and may benefit from the guidance of a therapist trained in IFS or similar methods, especially for deeply entrenched or trauma-related parts.

Remember, this is a starter guide for working with parts, and there’s more depth and complexity available for those looking to take this style of inner work seriously. Also, the above is just one technique from IFS Therapy, there are various other options for investigating your parts, such as through active imagination and dream work, which I’ll cover in upcoming essays.

A Self-led Life

The goal is to understand your internal system and free parts from roles that cause issues in your day-to-day life. This means shifting responsibility to the Self. Essentially, you are aiming to live a more self-led life.

As you move towards this state of being, you’re increasing your area of concern. Small issues can be dealt with and your internal world becomes peaceful. You can focus your energy on worthwhile pursuits, such as a life purpose, rather than constantly being side-tracked by a troublesome psychology.

You also might find that just this act of freeing parts helps reduce the power that destructive behaviours have over your daily life, like addiction issues for example. You see through many of the unhealthy activities that used to motivate you and instead move toward higher aspirations.

I hope this piece has convinced you of the power of parts work. It’s an approach to personal growth that I’m still fairly new to, but I believe it will show results in the years ahead.

Ben Worrall